DATING+MATRIMONY
READ:-
If you truly want to cultivate yourself as an Alpha Male and have
already conquered my Three S's (self-confidence, self-discipline and
sense of humor) then you are ready for the next step, which is to
develop some additional or supplement traits that will help you find a
woman who is perfect for you.
Let's take a look at the supplemental traits that will help you in your journey:
Find A Woman Trait 1 - Develop a nonchalant, self confident attitude.
This is such an incredibly important concept to grasp if you expect to be lucky in love. Your attitude is the outward projection of your self-confidence. It really determines how you succeed in everything you do.
Here's a little something I believe and hope you take to heart: "What happens to you is not nearly as important as what you do with it."
In other words, it's not what happens to you, it is how you react to what happens to you. That is essentially the only thing you can control - your reaction. One great way to maintain emotional control is to develop - and truly believe in your heart - that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you This can be one of the most freeing self improvement steps you can take.
Find A Woman Trait 2 - Cultivate an attitude focused on abundance instead of scarcity.
Look at the world as a place with unlimited options for you.
There is more than enough of EVERYTHING to go around - enough women, enough money, enough food, etc.
This helps you to realize, as well, that one girl is not the only girl in the world for you. There are a lot of fish in the sea Jones.
You are not only going to have one chance to have Romance. Think about it that way. There will be endless opportunities to get laid. You can relax and realize you have time. There are more available women in the world than days left of your life, so don't waste a second more on one who is interested in you. There are hundreds, thousands more women, who will be even a better match than she is. Life's too short to waste it on someone like that.
Find A Woman Trait 3 - Have integrity in all you do.
Your character is really all you have. Having integrity will guide you through your dating life and help you establish and maintain your identity and your values. Any tough times will be more easily weathered if you can stand up for what you believe in.
Here is something I recommend guys do before you even begin dating: take a pen and paper and brainstorm a list of your strengths and attributes. What makes you a good product to sell to women?
Your list might include traits like a leader, humorous, good listener, adventurous, romantic, great dresser, good provider, clean, good values, loyal, and ambitious.
Keep this list in your wallet, whip it out every so often, and re-read it. You are worthy of love and success in the dating world and realizing and remind yourself of what you have to offer a woman is important.
Working on developing these additional, supplemental traits will not only help you in your journey to find a woman, but will make your life better and more fulfilling overall. Life's too short. Don't waste any more time. Start your journey to being the best man you can be and find a woman.
It's the first date that can make or break a relationship for many people these days. There are a few individuals out there who often come across strangers they would like to meet up and get to know more about, either from random encounters or through online dating sites, among other means. Of course, it's always good to save up just a bit for that first date since the conversations should matter more, but if you're really interested in her, you might want to indulge in a bit of romanticism to get her to like you even more. In fact, there are a few romantic ideas which you can make use of if you truly want to make a lasting impression on your date.
1.) Take your date for a walk at the local park. Bask in the scenery while getting to know each other through conversation. If your date is interested in you, you can even hold hands while walking, or sit on a bench and continue your chat there in a more impersonal manner.
2.) Go for some ice cream. Ice cream is always considered to be comfort food, and you sure would like to get her in a good mood. In fact, back in the old days, people used to go on ice cream dates where they would just appreciate good old conversation as they walk around eating ice cream on cones.
3.) Go grab a cup of coffee with your date. The aroma of fresh coffee is always something that will engage you both in some proper conversation, which could last up until the wee hours of the morning especially if there's a genuine interest between both of you.
4.) Indulge in some recreational activities. Bowling happens to be one of the most popular activities and one that can create a rather light and fun atmosphere. Both of you don't even have to be experts in the sport, since you're just out to engage in a bit of fun amidst each other's company.
5.) Art exhibits and museums are great places for you both to actually get to know more about your artistic sides. You can find several conversational pieces made by history's greatest artists which not only strike your eye but make for good discussion topics.
6.) Dinner at a fancy or exotic restaurant is always a good idea. Both of you will enjoy savoring the goodness of delectable cuisine, thus making it a truly unique gastric experience.
7.) Of course, a first date is never complete with a movie. Both of you should decide on which movie out in the local cineplexes is of interest to you. Buy a bucket of popcorn, and you can even talk about the scenes in a fun and light manner.
There is no more romantic gesture on earth than one that is made for the sheer sake of romance itself. If you want to make a really great impression on a woman, then pull out all the stops.
Don't wait for some special occasion to create a romantic date. You don't have to wait for a certain day or time. Just do it! She will be impressed by your charm and thoughtfulness.
The best thing is, many of these suggestions take little in the way of preparation. It is sometimes the smallest gesture that will create the biggest impression on a woman.
The key to making this a success is knowing just a little bit about your lady and what she likes (and doesn't like). You don't have to know her like your best friend, but it does help to know a little about what she likes in order to craft a truly romantic evening for the two of you.
Find out what your date considers romantic and do your best to create it for her. The very fact that you thought to romance her for no special reason will create a positive impression on her and make her feel really special.
The first great idea is a candlelight picnic in the park or other peaceful location. This can be done at sunset; it doesn't have to be too dark. Spread out a blanket, bring an attractive wicker basket containing a bottle of wine, some cheese, maybe strawberries; whatever the two of you like. Also you should be sure to make the candles citronella to keep away the mosquitoes!
You can even bring your portable music player along for a little romantic music and you'll have an evening that both of you will remember fondly. Just don't forget to check the weather forecast in advance!
Another great idea is good for any weather. When dining at a restaurant that has a house musician, arrange with him beforehand to play her favorite romantic song during your meal. This will require a separate trip to the restaurant to set things up and to pay the musician a nice tip, but it will be worth it!
A final great idea is a nice candle lit meal at your home. Serve some of her favorite foods and desert. Put on some soft romantic music and be sure to have a good bottle of wine handy. A centerpiece of her favorite flowers are always a nice touch. The meal could either be prepared by you or ordered from a restaurant.
Of course, to make this the most romantic, your home should be immaculately clean. Make sure she doesn't trip over the tennis shoes or gym bag! Women appreciate it when you go the extra mile for them.
This startling ebook gives you the INSIDE SCOOP on mastering the art of dating by understanding the secret and unspoken ways your partner behaves!
I'm going to go out on a limb here and wager that the majority of men don't know jack about how to flirt with women.
Most men think that flirting with women means complimenting them.
Flirting is an art form and if you really want to learn how to do it successfully, read on and I'll share my top flirting tips for men using role models that you should learn from and sometimes even emulate. These men have a timeless sex appeal - even 20 years later, we can learn from their behavior and actions:
Women have always loved 00 so let's look at the traits he has that are worth paying attention to:
Confidence. That guy is oozing self-esteem. He never seems unsure of himself, but always projects self-confidence.
Humor. Even when he messes up, Bond always has something witty to say about it, even when it appears he's on the verge of death.
Sophistication. He knows the finest food, women, and wine. He has style and that's why he orders his drink so specifically - shaken and not stirred. He's not a braggart, though.
Anger. He gets mad at appropriate times and in an appropriate manner. He doesn't hesitate to scold a woman when she is being childish or disrespectful to him.
Confidence. Same as Bond. He isn't afraid to jump into the thick of things and is sure of himself.
Humor. Again, one reason both men and women loved Indy, is his ability to find humor in the most dire situations.
Anger. Princess behavior will piss him off and he's not afraid to let the woman know. But he's not a jerk about it, either.
Confidence: Again, this is the most important trait if you want to be attractive to women. You have to act sure, feel sure, and project that you are sure. Fake it until you make it. In other words, act like you are confident, until it becomes real. And if you do this enough, it will.
Humor: Cary was witty as all hell. He can banter with the best of them with ease.
If these three role models don't connect with you, then please feel free to choose your own. Watch Clint Eastwood in any of his movies or Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" or even the cocky Judd Nelson in "The Breakfast Club." Watch them, study them, and emulate them when necessary.
What you will soon discover, and obviously can see in the three examples I gave above, is that these men - or even movie characters - all ooze sex appeal and all have traits in common. Study them and then don't imitate, but emulate them and you will be successfully following one of my most effective flirting tips for men.
So, your wife wants a divorce and you don't. Where does that leave you? Not in a happy situation. Maybe she will not talk to you about reconciliation, or worse - she is already dating someone else. You are not ready to throw away your marriage. Maybe there are children involved. Maybe even pets. This is destroying the lives of more than just two people. The thought of not seeing her every day is killing you inside. Thinking of her with someone else makes you cringe. There are specific steps you can take to help you get a dialogue going with your wife. Each situation is different, but the following steps will help you get the best results possible.
(i) Back Off
Tell her you that you both need some time to think.If she has been avoiding you, she probably thinks you will chase her. Don't act too desperate. You lived before you met her, and you will go on living if you don't get her back. It will change her attitude toward you if you calm down and show some independence. Give her some space and don't be clingy. If she will not answer your calls, then leave her this message or send her a text. Then, DO NOT contact her for a week or two. (Don't worry about what she is doing during this time because you have no control over it anyway.)
(ii) Be Honest
She will likely be more open to talking when you seem to go on with your life without her. Someone just out of reach is always more attractive. This is the time to play it cool and not give her a guilt trip or play on her sympathy. Instead, be honest about things that hindered your marriage in the past and present. Don't avoid subjects or deny things that you did.
(iii) Be Willing To Forgive
Along with all this honesty may come some things that you find unpleasant. This might be things she has said or done. Or it might be things she points out about you. Remember, the ultimate goal is to save the marriage, not point fingers. Forgive her if you want forgiveness for yourself.
(iv) Don't Play the Kids (Or Anyone Else) Against Her
If you have children, you never, ever want to use them against her. This only hurts everyone involved, most of all the children. Don't talk to them AT ALL about the situation. Just assure them that both of you love them and that everything will be okay, then leave it at that. Use the same approach with anyone else you know. If you get back together, it will be very difficult if you have aired all your dirty laundry to the world, not to mention embarrassing. It's great to have one or more close friends you can confide in, but don't tell all your friends. Keep your dignity in place and show her respect, even if she does not do the same for you.
(v) Use the 10/10 List
This is a great instrument to help get things under control and out in the open. Each of you take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write down the 10 things you love best about her. One the other side write down the 10 things that drive you crazy. Have her do the same. Most women will jump at the opportunity to do this and get things off their chest. You will both be amazed at what comes to light with this simple exercise.
(vi) Get a New Hobby
What does this have to do with your wife? Everything! An innovative, dynamic person is attractive and exciting. Show her you are just as interesting as any other guy out there. She will see you in a new light. This will also keep your mind occupied and introduce you to some new friends to help fill your time.
(vii) Find a Good Bible-Based Church
Something about attending church together tends to bring couples closer together. There are also many activities designed for couples and families in most churches that encourage wholesome family ties. You also get free couples and/or family counseling in a lot of churches. If you pick a church that is not right for you, then try another. Don't give up. If she will not go with you, don't let that stop you. Again, this will help you on many levels, including meeting new people.
Most relationships can be saved if both people truly love each other. The more years you have invested, the more important it is to save your marriage. If you keep your cool and use your head, it is possible to work most situations out. Get more help on How To Get Your Wife Back & Avoid Divorce with this step-by-step plan.
Now, get in there and get her back. You can do it!
Angela Monahan has a psychology degree and extensive experience counseling couples. ModernRelationship.org is an innovative website designed to help both men and women in all stages of relationships. Get answers to your burning questions, plus some advice you never knew you needed! Visit the Points Calendar, 30 Days of Gratitude, and more.
Marriage can be wonderful whereby sharing your everyday life with someone you love is a real special feeling. However, it can also be exhausting and frustrating. Therefore, I like to give you the top 10 tips to keep your marriage happy.
(i) Listening
Listening is one of the key elements in managing your marriage well.
If you have to, stop whatever you do and listen when your spouse needs to talk to you.
Since marriage is about sharing your life with your spouse, you need to pay close attention. Not just mean hearing what they say but being able to understand and give appropriate advice or suggestion.
(ii)Trust
Another key element is trust which is what your marriage is built upon.
If not, why do you both marry in the first place?
Without trust, your marriage will most likely end up in divorce unless you sit down and talk with your spouse to clear any doubts, misunderstandings and ill feelings between you both.
Though you can consult with your family, friends and even marriage counsellors, you still need to sort out with your spouse for your marriage to be happy again.
(iii) Regular Communication
Without regular communication, your marriage is also doomed to fail.
You may think I am exaggerating by saying this but it is true as statistics have indiciated that most marriages ended in divorces due to lack of communication as the main reason.
Whether you like or not, your spouse should be the one whom you should share your thoughts with, seek opinions from and generally discuss with frequently. Not your friends, family or even marriage counsellors unless things really get out of hand.
After all, marriage is for you and your spouse to share everything with each other since you made a vow to love each other forever.
(iv) Admit Your Mistake
We all hate to admit our mistakes. It seems humiliating and insulting to our ego and pride.
But in marriage, you just have to put your pride aside and swallow the bitter pill.
Admitting your mistake helps to clear any conflicts rather than keeping quiet and pretending nothing has happened.
After all, is it really difficult to say I Am Sorry?
(v) Sharing Dreams
We all have dreams about the future
Where we want to live, what will we do and fro.
Instead of keeping your dream to yourself, why not share with your spouse? Unless your dream is of having an affair with someone else, there is really nothing to hide.
Make it a point to share and talk with him or her about what you want now and for many years to come.
(vi) Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
There are times when you see others having a better lifestyle than yours. Such as while you are struggling to support your family, others can give theirs exactly what they want and dream of.
You need to understand no couples are exactly the same. Not just in race and background but in character and personalities.
Instead of admiring others, you should treasure every moment you have with your spouse and even children whether they are good or bad.
If you hate struggling, please let your spouse know so that both of you can sit down and work things out together.
(vii) Finance And Management Plan
The root cause of marriage breakdown is usually money.
Recurring bills like car instalments, credit cards, home maintenance, mortgage payments, utilities can really hurt your bank account if you do not have an alternative income source other than your salary.
The best way to solve this problem is to devise a financial plan and manage it together with your spouse.
In this way, both parties can see when or where the money comes and go out while at the same time they can refrain from overspending and getting themselves into debt.
(viii) Quality Time
However busy and tired you are due to work, you must still make a real effort to spend some quality time with your partner.
It can be as little as ten minutes but those can make a big difference.
Spending quality time together does not mean just sitting in front of TV together because you and your wife will get distracted by TV programs most of the time.
What it really means is talking to one another, without interruption, or do something constructive together like a walk in the park after dinner or even jogging before dinner.
You will be amazed at the results it brings you and your spouse.
(ix) Never Stop Dating
Marriages can be dull.
The monotony of daily life can slowly begin to take its toll. Waking up early, go to work, back at home for dinner, watch TV and go to bed before repeating everything again.
One of the best ways to ensure your relationship stays fresh is to keep dating. And when better time than your wedding anniversary, your birthday or your spouse’s birthday?
Go to a restaurant for dinner, go to the movies this weekend or holiday or 1-2 weeks of vacation. Remember how great it is when you first start dating?
If so, there is absolutely no reason why you and your partner should not feel the same way as a wife.
(x) Sacrifice
When you marry, you do not have to always expect things to be done in your own way.
It is a common mistake of many couples as their property and pride often gets in their way. They do not want to compromise and often result in heated arguments.
You and your husband are the duo and have to stick together through thick or thin.
But it can only be possible if you need to take the initiative to make certain sacrifices without being asked by your partner.
This is never easy to do but is absolutely essential to keep the marriage happy and eternal.
Be a team player. When you were single, you could focus on your needs entirely. Now that you’re in a partnership, that just isn’t going to work. Sometimes you have to think about the family and the marriage before you think about yourself.
Remember that a marriage is a complicated thing. Being a good husband spans a lot of territory. Sure, you need to support your family financially and raise your children with love and concern. These are two of the givens of being a good husband. But these aren’t the only duties of being a good husband.
When you talk about the interpersonal dynamics of a man/wife relationship, a lot of these dynamics involve how we communicate with one another. We send both intentional and unintentional signals to our spouse through our interpersonal communications. So a large part of being a good husband in this context is showing we are a part of the team, supporting our teammate while communicating when we need support in our turn.
In sports parlance, it’s called “being a good teammate” or “being a good locker room presence”.
(i)Be Her Sounding Board
When your wife tells you her problems, she isn’t necessarily looking for a problem solver. She wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life.
A husband who hears about his wife’s problems instinctively wants to come to the rescue. But most of the time, this isn’t what your wife is looking for. You need to fill the role more of a psychologist than that of a troubleshooter. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do.”
When your wife comes to you with her problems, she isn’t looking for you to be her lawyer. And she certainly doesn’t need you to be her football coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counsellor, to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.
(ii) Show Respect
A good exercise for every husband is to try to show your wife respect. This dovetails with my previous point, but goes beyond that specific situation.
A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.
Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.
Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.
(iii) Avoid Judgment
When you live with someone every day, it’s hard not to build up resentments and overanalyze your partner’s every move. But no one is going to stand up to that level of scrutiny. Try not to sweat the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. If you judge every action or opinion your wife has, that’s going to come through in your words and actions.
Your wife is different from you. Of course she isn’t going to perceive things the way you do. She’s had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She won’t always like what you like. She won’t behave like a man does. Apart from sexual needs and having children, that’s one of the reasons men get into a relationship. We feel the need for a woman’s companionship.
(iv)Don’t Bring Your Own Issues Into the Marriage
As I mentioned earlier, being in a marriage is being part of a team. This means you sometimes have to put your wants or needs second to those of the team.
All of us have emotional baggage. When we marry, we bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. But when your wife comes to you for support, that isn’t the time to open up that emotional baggage. There are times when you can unload this stuff on your wife, but not when she needs your support.
It’s common for a man to internalize all her problems and make them our own. But if you do this, you are losing sight of why she confided in you in the first place. Don’t be selfish when you are supposed to be supportive. I mean, all of us tend to process information through our own filter. But that doesn’t mean our opinions are always useful to the problem.
(v) Know When to Make it About You
Of course, it can’t always be about her or the marriage. There are times when your needs should be met. That’s the definition of a give-and-take partnership, which is what a marriage should be about.
Tell her how you feel, but don’t put her in a defensive position. This means you describe to her how something she does affects you without making your feelings accusatory. When you talk about issues in your marriage, tell her about how it affects you instead of what it is about her that bothers you. Good communication is one of the keys of a healthy marriage; good communication requires you to tell her how you are affected.
If your wife does something that hurts you, tell her exactly that you are hurt. Don’t focus on her actions, but on the consequences of those actions. If you simply accuse her of undermining you or being insensitive, it automatically puts her on the defensive. When she’s defensive about her actions, good communication becomes all but impossible.
(vi) Be Affectionate
I know guys don’t like being cuddly. Being affectionate after love takes time and it doesn’t make us feel manly, but women need affection sometimes. If you only give them that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it’s insincere.
Of course, this goes beyond the bedroom. If you show your wife spontaneous affection occasionally, it reassures her of the love bond.
(vii)Be Willing to Get Outside Help
There’s the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That’s one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we couldn’t stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.
That being said, self-reliance can only take us so far. A smart man has to realise when he can’t do it all himself. One of those cases is the man whose marriage is in trouble. It’s very standard for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor.
A man would prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, he would rather read how-to guides on how to save his marriage than ask for professional help. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. That’s when a man has to give into his wife’s request that they speak to a counselor.
